PLAYTIME'S JUST BEGUN 😏 “The games we play,” is something we’ve all heard, usually an excuse for shitty deceitful behaviour.😧 The rules may not have been broken but play has pushed their limits. For a while, twentieth century philosopher, Ludwig Wittgenstein, thought he had broken the game of philosophy.⚠️ Coming up with the idea in the trenches of World War One, he wrote up a short book while teaching maths and walked into Oxford in the 1920’s to change how we look at the world.👀 Unsure whether his book even made sense, Wittgenstein told the great Bertrand Russell that he’d become a pilot if it was gibberish.🧑✈️ Russell assured him that wasn’t going to happen after reading just the first sentence.🤯
One of the big tasks of philosophy is to understand how we know anything about the world.🧐 Rene Descartes set up the modern game three hundred years previous with “I think, therefore I am”, but Wittgenstein walked up and knocked the whole fucking board off the table.💥 He first attacked how we use language, saying that anything outside logic doesn’t have meaning, so we can’t really talk about things like beauty, love or justice.💔 Later he attacked how we even connect a word and a thing. It was pretty well accepted at the time that if someone pointed at a tree and said “tree”, we’d get the gist of what was going on.🌳 Wittgenstein laughed at this simplicity and asked what if the speaker is really pointing at something else (maybe pointing at leaves or wood) or even talking about an action that looks like pointing.👉 We can never be sure about something someone says because we can never be 100% certain what the sentence means.🤨
For Wittgenstein, language mirrors life, so if we can’t be sure about language then we don’t even have the tools to start doing philosophy.⛔ It’s all a bunch of wank (as many would agree).💦 But he knew he was running into trouble because, what were his own ideas at the end of the day? They were philosophy.🙉 Wittgenstein at first tried to save his ideas, calling them a ‘ladder’ you could discard once understood, but this didn’t stop his philosophical own-goal (he’s not the first, nor the last, to score one).🤬 He went on to call language a game, where the use is more important than the meaning. 🎮 This meant there had to be rules, something to give foundation to the game, and that, Wittgenstein came to conclude, was our shared experience.🫂
What does this mean? Trust your gut.👊 There are things language – and therefore thought – is just not good at tackling and how you feel is a better source of meaning.😋 This is in fact how a lot of philosophy is done. While reading we get a feeling that something is bullshit without knowing exactly why and then we spend a lot of time breaking down the argument to figure it out.🤓 Whether having fun in the privacy of the bedroom or in everyday life, if it doesn’t feel right, then don’t believe it straight away, whatever the source, however authoritative it sounds.🤔 Take time to think.⏰ The only strategy to beat you is not giving you time, so never accept being pressured or rushed.😠 Ultimately, you’ll know if you’re onto the truth because you’ll be having a fucking great time!🤤
EASTER DELIGHT ❤️🔥 We can’t escape the seasons, that 23.5-degree tilt of the Earth means we are always swinging back and forth from the sun.🌞 But smack bang in March we hit the sweet spot: a time when it all balances up and everyone has the same length day.🌗 The equinox welcomed in spring and became one of the biggest parties of the year.🎉 It was such a big fucking deal that the Pyramids of Giza, the Angkor Wat temple in Cambodia and even five-thousand-year-old Irish tombs all have shit that line up with sun on this special day.🌄
The equinox party theme is rebirth.💞 Sometimes shit got crazy, (just check out the Festival of Dionysia, celebrating the Greek nutter God Dionysus) but it was usually celebrating nature getting hot and heavy.😏 Rebirth also became part of the way we understood how everything works.🤔 Plato thought the soul immortal and said our death was just part of a cycle of rebirth.🔄 Buddha, the cool Asiatic prince of the fifth century who started one hell of a movement, had the epiphany that everything in life follows birth and rebirth and the only way to stop the endless wheel of suffering was to realise the truth, thereby achieving nirvana.☸️ And while walking on the shores of a Swiss lake, Nietzsche realised the best way to see the importance of our actions is to think about time repeating in an endless cycle of rebirth, with all our actions repeating forever.🤯 Then, he said, you wouldn’t fuck around and waste your day!😵
Of course, the ideas of rebirth at this time of year became significant for religion, with celebrations around the time like Easter at the next full moon.🛐 This is mixed up with symbols like the rabbit🐰 and the egg🐣 we’ve been using for a hell of a lot longer, reminding us that rebirth doesn’t just happen. So, while you are enjoying your choccy eggs, remember what the day really meant for many thousands of years - that it was time to get off your ass and get fucking working.⏰🏗️ Time to start prepping for the year ahead. Time to leave the previous year behind.➡️ Time when rebirth is a real possibility for us all.💥 So long as we put in some effort. 💪 Become the legend you want to be and celebrate the Spring Equinox! 😍
Does a tree make a sound if it falls in the woods and there is no-one there to hear it? 🤔 This mind fuck is one of the most famous philosophical riddles, courtesy of seventeenth century over-achiever Englishman, John Locke. Both the French Revolution and United States Declaration of Independence owe a lot to Locke’s political work, but his philosophy of mind forever changed the way we think of ourselves.💭 Ideas like ‘identity’ and ‘self’ start with Locke’s work (hard to believe we didn’t use these words before that, huh?), and he famously posited that we are born a blank slate, a tabula rasa, and all knowledge comes from experiencing the world around us.🌏 So many cool-as-shit mental puzzles relate to identity, such as, if we can’t remember being younger, are we really the same person as back then?😵💫 Locke’s work on who we are and how we learn about the world blew everyone’s fucking minds.🤯
Locke pointed out that our sensations differ in nature. I’m not talking about the difference between sight, smell, etc, but how much our minds influence them.🧠 For Locke, when we interact with something in the world, there are sensations which our minds help create and then those that come directly from an item itself.🖼️ What we see, hear, smell, and even feel filters through the mind and is not truly of the object we experience.👀 However, size, figure, weight and motion are directly known qualities. So, if a tree falls in the woods without anyone there, for Locke, there is no sound as there is no-one there to hear it (see my post on Berkeley to understand his reply to Locke – that there is no tree!).🌳
There is no better way to learn about someone else than to fuck them.🔥 But don’t be completely distracted by how your partner looks or even feels to touch.🤚 These senses are so strong as to be completely overwhelming, but they don’t get to the heart of who as person is.😶🌫️ Close your eyes and take in their physical presence, their weight against yours and the impact of their movements against your body.🫂 With these sensations you directly connect with the person you are with and open up your true selves.💞 Who would have thought a philosopher from 400 years ago would hold the secret to passionate, meaningful fucking.😎
Worried a kink is wrong?🥺 Or the desire to fuck a certain someone isn’t right?😏 You should talk to David Hume. This eighteenth-century Scotsman first destroyed our idea of causation (when ‘this’ causes ‘that’) with a game of billiards and went on to smash how we make moral judgements.💥
Hume was surprised that people were happy making decisions about what is good or bad based only on what they’ve experienced in the world.👀 Hume said there was simply no reliable link between what we believe are facts about things and what we ought to do because something new can redefine things.✂️🔗 This is still a big fucking issue today and Hume would be pissed off that fuck-all progress has been made in 300 years.😠 Familiar with the following? Gay marriage is wrong because marriage is between a man and a woman.💍Abortion is wrong because a foetus is a human being. Homosexuality is wrong because only men and women can have babies.💑 Hume would call bullshit on all of them.👿
Hume believed reasoning alone can’t make moral judgements because what is right and wrong comes down to how you feel and how it impacts your life and those around you.🥰 So namely, if it doesn’t affect you, fuck your opinion right off!🤬 For Hume, as long as you don’t hurt anyone, do who you wanna do, be who you want to be, yeh!🤤 It’s nobody else’s business but yours and your partner’s.🫂 Do what makes you feel happy and contented. It’s a fucking great way to live. That’s why Hume’s one of the sexiest philosophers ever.🥵
WORSHIPPED FORM 🤤 Two of the big guns of philosophy are Socrates and Plato.💪 Socrates got the ball rolling challenging everyone to ‘know thyself’.👀 Socrates didn’t write shit down, but luckily, his genius student Plato did (so often we don’t know for sure whose idea was whose).👊 We can still relate to many of their thoughts, but others are really different, especially about sex and love.🤔
Fucking for Ancient Greeks was not something defined by gender like today.👩❤️👨 Greek binary was more about the penetrator and penetrated, dom and sub. 👉👌 And it had a place in the mentor-student relationship, part of the wisdom passed down, if you know what I mean.😉 It’s titillating to think about what really went on between Socrates and Plato, then Plato and his student Aristotle.🤭 And don’t forget, Aristotle was Alexander the Great’s teacher too.😏
Sex also had strong links to the Greek idea of love.❤️🔥 Love to both Socrates and Plato was the joy found in beauty, and for the Ancient Greeks, you couldn’t get more beautiful than a smoking hot stud (have you noticed their statues?).🤤 Self-control was the priority, as love was from the Gods and not of this world.😈 To fall under the sway of beauty was to risk driving yourself mad.😵💫 It follows that a lover’s attention is itself divine, whereas only seeking pleasure is vulgar and foolish.😍
So, if you feel shame for wanting to fuck someone, don’t blame Socrates or Plato.🥵 For them, the desire to fuck was perfectly normal.😇 It’s fucking without restraint that is a no-go.🚫 And to have someone adore and want to fuck you is the highest compliment, a literal gift from the Gods. 🙏 Think of that the next time you’re about to say you’ve got a headache. 😊
WALK ON THE WILD SIDE 🔥 Jean-Paul Satre turned philosophy on its fucking head in the 1940’s when he said existence precedes essence. 😵 Or in another way, stuff defines itself; things don’t come from a blueprint. ❌📐 Take underwear, understood to be a small set of pants with two holes for your legs fitting up to your waist. 🩲 What about g-strings then? Or crotchless? 🤩 Or even edible? 😋 There is sexy underwear that hasn’t even been thought of yet which will push the definition even further. 🫦
What does this mean for you and me? 🤔 We think we know ourselves, what turns us on, but we really don’t know our kinks till we have experienced them. 🙀 Wow! 💥 This means none of us are hard coded into any fetish or desire🤤, though we are pretty well set up at the moment by our past and upbringing. ⏪
But then tomorrow, wham! 🌟 You see, hear, feel or smell something new which blows your mind. 🤯 Don’t be afraid Sartre says! ❤️🔥 Accept who you are, feel no shame, be authentic and enjoy existence. We only get one shot at it. 😍 But of course, don’t hurt anyone else doing so. 🥰 Thanks to Sartre, the ‘do what makes you feel good’ sex legend! 💦
Exploring the fine line between pleasure and pain seems to have no limits.🥵 Experiment away, says Sartre, because you don’t know until you try it, but fellow Austrian-British philosopher, Karl Popper, was a tad more wary.⚠️ Alive during WWII, Popper was pissed because good people didn’t seem to be able to stick up for themselves.😢 They didn’t know when it was time to say no: too much turning the other cheek and hoping for the best.🙏 Then everything would go to shit.⚔️ Popper was talking at the level of communities and nations, but his ideas are equally valid for how we treat one another as individuals, particularly behind closed doors. ❤️🔥
Part of being a good fuck is being considerate.😏 It’s not unusual for a partner’s kink to not be your own, but getting them to feel fucking good is the priority, so a little tolerance goes a long way.💞 But therein lies the problem. Where is the line?🤔 A good lover will struggle to say no while focused on making their partner feel good.😍 The crappy lover won’t take no for an answer but draw their own line in the sand from day one.👿
Popper was big on being intolerant to the intolerant. 🫸 For him, that’s part of what being tolerant means. Share new pleasures and push boundaries, but if things get a little weird or uncomfortable, be honest about it.🥹 If your honesty isn’t respected, it’s time to get serious about reviewing the relationship, maybe even time to get out.⛔ Likewise, expect and respect the same from your partner.🫂 Creating new ways to fuck together is part of the game 🥰; being a selfish cunt is not.🤬
When you see the name Friedrich Nietzsche, you expect to hear about Übermensch (Supermen) and master-race.😨 His fucked-up sister was the one who twisted his ideas to get kudos with the Nazis, and mud sticks.🤬 Nietzsche was actually focused on the act of creation.💥 Supermen create things, slaves reproduce the old. Nietzsche wanted us to awaken the courage to look past our world, to throw off the shackles of culture and social identity and create something entirely fresh. Never before conceived. The completely new. 🤩 Look the abyss in the face and smile at the fucker because of the opportunities it presents.🤯
Though I love a little healthy power-play during a fuck, Nietzsche’s master / slave distinction wasn’t actually about doms and subs at all.🤤 Supermen (or superpeople), the masters, are so busy having fun creating they don’t concern themselves with slaves.🎉 Super-people want to fuck other super-people, while boring slaves are left bitching for being left out.😢 But what the slaves don’t realise is that they don’t need to be invited to the party – all they need to be a master is to take a walk on the wild side and break the conformity of their comfort zone lives.😱 We can all be creative.🙌 Or as Nietzsche put it, we can all be the lion.🦁
So don’t be afraid to venture onto new ground in the bedroom and experiment with new ideas.😏 Not only is finding fresh ways to pleasure great fucking fun, but you could invent something never done before!🥵
Genius seventeenth century philosopher Blaise Pascal found significance in small things. 🤏 He joked that the English monarchy was saved by a grain of sand (anti-monarchist Oliver Cromwell died early of a kidney stone), and that history would have been very different if Cleopatra’s nose had been a little shorter, given the fetish powerful men had for long noses in her day. 👃🤤
This philosopher also said we lie to ourselves and to others, and in turn want others to lie to us. 🤔 We don’t want to hear the truth 🙉 because if we are true to ourselves, we have to be true to others, which means accepting their truths as we would want our truths accepted. 😢 Pascal believed dealing with the truth is so difficult we wouldn’t have more than four friends if we all went around being totally truthful to each other. 💔 Truth is ugly naked, so to speak. 🙈
So, next time your partner asks, “Do I look too fat in this?”, lie. 😉 When you’re asked, “Is mine the biggest cock you’ve ever seen?” Lie. 😮 And, especially, “Am I the best you’ve ever had?” Lie. Lie Lie. Unashamedly, lie. 🤪 For someone so gifted in philosophy, maths and science, Pascal still understood making other people feel fucking great was more important than the truth. 😘
I’m a middle-aged man so I’ve had sex a fair number of times, but I’ve wanked off heaps more. ✊🍆 Could masturbation be important to philosophy? Of course! 🤓 Have a look at the work of late twentieth century philosopher, Gilles Deleuze. I’m not saying he was a tosser at all, but for Deleuze there was a clear answer to the question, to jerk or not to jerk? 🤔
The act of creation Deleuze explained is reality blowing its load. 💦 Pure orgasm. 🥵 Straight away you’d think fucking is a cool way to describe it – two coming together to be one and all that shit.🫂 But there is too much going on, too much distraction in that definition. 👀 But when you’re all alone, you can lose yourself in the moment, close your eyes and just become a bunch of feelings building up to that moment of climax. Boom! 🎉 There goes the universe. 🤯
The importance of this becomes pretty clear when we realise we’re talking about joy. 🤩 Creating stuff creates joy. 💞 And you don’t need other people to feel it.😊 Deleuze wanted everyone to know they could be creative and experience joy themselves.🥳 How do you be creative? Deleuze says add a little chaos to things.💫 Not randomness, but unpredictable order.❄️ Don’t look for perfection; instead let in a little chance.🎲 Say yes when you’d normally say no and try new things. Don’t go fucking silly, of course, but get it right by pushing your boundaries a bit.😈 When something amazing is created as a result, you’ll share in the universe blowing its load!🪐💦
Schopenhauer was a rich prick who was not particularly nice to women (somewhat of a Schopenist pig, you could say 🤮), but if we can get past his shortcomings, his ideas are full-blown mind orgasms. 🧠💥
“All things are one” he declared, not because of a God or greater power, but because the world ‘out there’ or the real world our senses – sight, smell, feel, etc – receive information and build a picture from, is impossible to know outside of ourselves. ⚠️ This means the real world can’t be described using words referencing our senses. 🫨 Words like, ‘separate from’, ‘next to’, ‘above’, ‘inside’ and ‘between’ can’t be used to describe it as these rely on being able to see, feel, etc. 🤓 Therefore, things in the real world can’t be talked about as being divided, meaning everything must be one (omg…getting hard🍆). Our minds do the work of separating everything into objects so we can understand and navigate the world we perceive.🧭
Music lifted Schopenhauer to ecstasy and was his favourite way to experience the true nature of the ‘real world’.🎶 As well as appreciating music, Schopenhauer said we must all be kind and compassionate to each other.👩❤️👨 If everything in reality is one, then hurting you is hurting me.😭 But, on the flipside, pleasuring you is pleasuring me🫦 OMG!❤️🔥 Sex is about pushing past our senses with our partner(s) to try and experience a primal oneness; a connection with a collective will shared among humanity.🫂
Schopenhauer ultimately believed we are each a manifestation of a primal impersonal will, which does not care individually about you or me, but rouses our passions to fuck as a way of driving the species forward to ensure its survival.😈 This means, in reality, the collective will is fucking itself to stay alive and we get to watch.🤤 Boom! A bit like doing it like they do on the Discovery channel.😻
Deceptively short, deceptively small and deceptively simple, George Berkeley’s masterpiece will blow your mind.💦 It’s the original reason I got hard doing philosophy, and it’s still sexy as shit years later. 🤤
Proving it’s not the size that matters, but what you do with it, Berkeley obliterates the way we understand the world with his small powerful piece, leaving everything teetering on the edge of absolute chaos – then, like a classic hero, he saves it all by bringing in God at the last moment. 😇 Phew! 🙏 Well, phew for him back in his day. Trouble is, God doesn’t cut it in modern society, leaving us in a world full of illusionary experiences worse than any demon or evil AI could inflict.😈 Three hundred years later Berkeley’s ideas are still fucking with everything we know and becoming more and more important to fields like neuroscience as we tackle how we understand the world around us. 👁️⁉️
Has this got anything to do with fucking? 🤔Wasn’t Berkeley a highly religious, pure sort of chap who didn’t write anything about naughty old sex? 🫣 He was, but his ideas still relate. Berkeley focused on the importance of the mind in creating the world. 🌏 Our ideas are easily shaped and not set in stone, therefore neither is our world. The mind has a huge influence on not only how we feel but how we perceive things. 👀 This means Berkeley recommended not being too rigid about our ideas but always questioning things and being open to new ideas because believing in the wrong things creates shitty worlds for ourselves. 🙈
Instead, we should look to create new worlds, with new experiences: what better way to do this than sexually, with someone you can share new ideas with? 👩❤️💋👨 This means being open to your partner, listening and understanding their sexual fantasies, desires and fears.🔥 Realising your concept of the world is not the only one and others’ perceptions are equally valid will make you an open, adventurous and top-notch lover.🥇 Be prepared for your world to change as you and your partner learn and create new ideas together. 😍 Berkeley may have never talked about sex out loud, but you know he had to have thought long and hard about it because his ideas are a wonderfully rich foundation for love, companionship and, of course, fucking.❤️🔥
In sum, shut up, listen, prepare to explore and change, and enjoy the ride. 🥵 Cheers, Berkeley! No surprise they named a university after you.👊
The impression exists that the great Greek philosophers were a bunch of balding, tubby old men sitting around bullshitting while drinking wine 🍷, when this couldn’t be further from the truth.‼️
Socrates was famously short and ugly, but he was also a fucking muscle-bound war hero who charged headlong into the enemy during the Peloponnesian War to rescue some captured officers.🎖️ Plato wrestled competitively, his wrestling coach giving him the name Plato which literally means ‘broad shouldered’. 🤼♂️ Some historians think Aristotle may have been a keen pentathlete in his youth given his passion and admiration of the sport. 🏃
The ancient Greeks were the first to see the potential of the Gods in their own flesh, 💫 where everyone could be a hero, where fate was not bound by the past. They truly were the first superheroes 🦸and drew amazement and fear from the rest of antiquity. 😲 History will always remember the 300 Spartans legends, led by the immortal King Leonidis 😎, and reinforced by only a few thousand-armed farmers and workers, who held back a Persian army of between 200,000-300,000 troops led by the hugely powerful Xerxes the Great, King of Kings. ⚔️ It is no exaggeration to say we owe the existence of our free world to these superheroes 🌍, who fell in the end from betrayal, but giving the rest of Greece precious time to prepare and meet Xerxes on both land and sea to defeat a near invincible foe. 👊
Of all the amazing wisdom Socrates has to bestow, take away what I believe to be one of his most important, ⭐
“…it is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.” 🤤
What do philosophy and fucking have to do with each other? 🧐 Philosophy legend, Bertrand Russell, was all about liberty and sexual freedom, including gay rights and the privation of marriage. 🫂 He basically said any adult can marry anyone any way they want. 🥰 He heavily influenced mid-1900s British policy, leading the way in western society.🌎 This doesn’t mean Bertie’d be happy to be the big dick of this post as he wasn’t into trivialising sex, but in my defence, he also believed our ideas about the erotic are simply a reflection of the culture we live in.😇 If everyone walked around naked every day, Bertie said, women would start to covet clothes to make themselves look and feel more sexually attractive.🫦
It’s clear to me Bertie held fucking in high regard.😍 He was adamant that what we do in the bedroom is nobody else’s business but our own, and without the help of his immense intellect and efforts towards the sexual liberation and equality cause, many of us couldn’t now enjoy legally fucking our partners.🥵 In essence, he was saying ‘be who you wanna be, do who you wanna do, yeh’. 💞
This is why philosophy is not just important, but crucial to keeping the act of fucking a personal, individual choice.👍 That’s why Bertie and his amazing ideas make me hard.🤤 Cheers to the ‘you do you’ sex legend.🥇💦
“An artist’s work depends on his tools”.🛠️ These words are from the legendary Leonardo da Vinci, who viewed his tools as an extension of his body and intellect, inseparable from his creativity.🎨 This point was not lost on American President Abraham Lincoln, who also famously said, “Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will the spend the first four sharpening the axe.”🪓 The importance of tool preparation and maintenance has been discussed by philosophers since Plato, and seen as being key to achieving amazing fucking things.💥 On the other hand, not being prepared limits what we can do, and a shitty tradesman doesn’t blame themselves, but blames their tools.🤬
Many philosophers like Aristotle and Kant talked about tools metaphorically, for preparing our virtues or critical thinking skills, before taking action or doing philosophy.🤔 Many others talked about tools in the everyday sense. Marx said tools were part of our relationship with nature, and that separating the tools from the tradesman robbed them of their identity, which happens when you plonk someone in front a fucking machine in a factory.🏭 Heidegger said if we don’t have our tools ready, they don’t seamlessly become part of the work, and their poor condition distracts us from the task at hand.😵 Deleuze believed the real scientific knowledge of the last couple of hundred years comes from people who make tools, not the scientists we hear about, because tool-makers tap into how things really work when they craft the microscopes, telescopes and machines that others use to make the discoveries we do hear about.🔭
The message here is don’t neglect your tools.⚠️ You never know when you might get lucky.😅 Or, perhaps you’ve got it all planned and ready to go. Either way, tool care is crucial for great performance.🔥 Nothing shows you are ready to have some fun more than being carefully groomed, fresh and feeling fucking great.😎 Love and care for yourself and your tools and you won’t only impress, you’ll clear the way to lose yourself in the moment, opening the chance to explore and create new mind-blowing sensual experiences.🤤💦
“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”💫 You’ll hear this expression when life turns to shit and it’s something for which we have Nietzsche to thank. 🙏 It’s such a cliché now that it can be found fucking everywhere from self-help guides to gym culture.💪 But if you know anything about Nietzsche, you’ll know that what he says and what he means can be two very different things.🧐 Is he really saying we should seek resilience, accept life’s challenges and even choose the harder path? Or have his words been taken completely out of context, causing more damage than good?😢
Nietzsche has to be taken within his worldview – a worldview very different to nearly everyone else. 🌏 He was obsessed with the idea of the Übermensch, or Superman, which he saw as the peak of human achievement.🥇 This was no muscle-bound, cape-wearing superhero, but a person who realised that the values and ideas they lived by were simply made-up and they were free to create their own 💭 The Übermensch was not just your average Joe, but someone extremely rare who had done a lot of fucking hard work to reach this realisation.🥵 They had already developed the strength to overcome everyday challenges and the character to stand in defiance of their own community. As Nietszche would say, the Übermensch was the lion, while the rest of us remained camels burdened by the society in which we live.🦁🐪
To a person who has found the inner strength to create their own ideals, Nietzsche says they should view suffering as an opportunity to build resilience.👊 Not shy away from it.😬 This is very different to saying suffering always makes you stronger, or you should therefore seek adversity for its own sake. There are occasions that even set the Übermensch back.⚠️ Therefore, like many other cliches, this one has the danger of making things worse: some things don’t make us stronger. 🤕 If you’ve had your heart broken, been cheated on, or been treated like shit, don’t be disappointed with yourself if you can’t handle it, can’t bounce back or need to take years to get over it.❤️🩹 We are not superheroes and there is nothing wrong with that.👍 Rather than taking on adversity, the better move may be to avoid that shit altogether, or if you are suffering, withdraw and take time to fucking recover.😮💨
Time to pamper the senses with decorations, lights, carols and Christmas feasts.🎄 Lavishing each other with parties, gifts, and oft-times, new experiences.🎁 And it’s something we’ve been doing for thousands of years.🥰
To celebrate the passing of winter, the Ancient Greeks held the festival of Haloa around the same time as Christmas.🎉 While the men made all the preparations, the women drank and devoured cock-shaped cakes.🍆 Later, everyone sang and danced the night away around a bonfire, talking dirty.🫦 Yep, those Ancient Greeks knew how to party - as well as do philosophy.🤩
Indulging ourselves is a fucking great part of being alive, and it’s wonderful that we have a specific time of year to loosen up and devote ourselves to celebration.🤤
Do you think someone’s fucking gorgeous and want to approach them but are shitting yourself that they may not feel the same way?😕 Sure, there is the possibility of rejection, but doesn’t the reward justify the risk?❤️🔥 Why then do we hesitate so often when faced with the chance? A couple of hundred years ago, Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard came up with a reason why we let these opportunities pass when he was thinking about what gave life meaning.🤔 His ideas were so powerful they started a whole field called Existentialism, the philosophy of why we exist.😲
Kierkegaard wanted everyone to be aware that the clock is ticking.🕧 The way we experience life, one day after another seemingly forever, gives the impression that there’ll always be another time, another chance, but this is simply not the case.⌛ Putting off making change because of the risk, or the time it takes, or because you put other things before yourself, will inevitably mean, one day, no longer having that chance.😱 We think ourselves immortal, especially in our youth, and not realising our finite existence, Kierkegaard claimed, leads us to despair and regret when we discover we’ve run out of time.😭 As the ancient Greek philosophers would say, Memento Mori - to find meaning in life, we must remember we will die.🪦
Now don’t get all morbid.🙁 Kierkegaard didn’t mean we should be infatuated with death, but that the awareness of our mortality means we’ll get the best out of life.🎉 Knowing we are here for a fucking good time, not a long time, means to live with purpose and urgency.😎 Take the risk and ask out the person you desire, or make the change you’ve wanted, because the chance won’t always be there.👊 More important still, do it fucking sooner than later because you’ve only got a brief time in the world and you want to spend as much of it, as the great Greek philosopher Aristotle would put it, living life well.🥂 And what’s more important than enjoying life with someone you love?🥰
Straight lines belong to man, while curves belong to God.🪢 So declared Antoni Gaudi, the early twentieth century Spanish architect who designed the unmistakable La Sagrada Famalia church in Barcelona - soon to be finished after more than 140 years of construction. One of the best examples of this distinction for Gaudi was wood.🪵 With its warmth, texture and grooves, wood represented a natural harmony between aesthetic form and function; while using or crafting wood reconnected us with the natural world.🌞 Gaudi did not seek the perfect piece of wood, quite the contrary, he celebrated the knots and imperfections found in wooden forms.😍 He didn’t work to hide flaws but instead brought them to the fore to shine and define his work. For Gaudi, the defects in wood were a crucial part of its beauty.💖
The only thing that blew Gauldi’s mind more than wood was the human body.🥵 Wood may have connected us with nature, but the human form was nature’s most wondrous fucking creation. The curves and crevasses found on the body touched on the divine.❤️🔥 For Gaudi, the human body was to be celebrated, and viewed as being without flaw, as it continually re-defined what beauty is.🤩 There was no negative or positive because every human body for Gaudi was fucking perfect.🥇
Gaudi was a deeply religious man, but you don’t have to be religious to appreciate his cool ideas.😎 Looking at the facts, our species is essentially brand-new - as 99.998% of everything that’s happened, happened before people evolved 300,000 years ago.⌛ And the complexity of the human brain is fucking crazy with hundreds of times more synapse connections than stars in the Milky Way galaxy, giving us the ability to be self-aware.👀 Our minds may very well be the newest, most complex thing in the universe.🌟 Shouldn’t then our bodies be equally revered?🫶 As part of the pinnacle of creation, shouldn’t every bump, every wobble and every fold be held in wonder?😘 Therefore, as difficult as it may sound, if you look in the mirror and see something you don’t like, remember you are part of the universe’s shot at fucking perfection, and be proud of it.🥰
We live in a hustle culture where if you are seen as a failure, you simply haven’t put in the fucking effort.😥 People wear their busy-ness as a badge of honour, each trying to outdo the other with how much work they do, where the answer to “How are you today?” is not “Good” or “Not Bad”, but “Busy!”🎖️ Being busy impacts other parts of our lives as we only have so much time in the day.⌛ We can start to neglect our health, postpone things like education, and worse still, be less attentive to our partners. Nothing has impacted people fucking more in history than a lack of free time.😫
Of course we have to do some work, so there’s the flip side where we don’t work enough and are too leisure-focused.💤 This lifestyle is called ‘hedonism’, where pleasure is the greatest good.🤤 Epicurus, who lived just after Plato, was the philosopher who coined the term, but the current definition is not what he actually meant.🧐 Epicurus was critical of over-work and believed we should do only as much as we need to satisfy ourselves, because any further effort starts to have a smaller and smaller impact.🤏 For instance, work only as hard as needed to be able to afford a bed comfortable enough to sleep on and have enough food not go hungry.🥗 Double your work and you don’t double the bed’s comfort or twice as much enjoyment from your food.📉 Working any harder is also a waste because the time saved can be spent on what Epicurus regarded as the two highest forms of good – friendship (Epicurus was all for communal living, if you know what I mean😉) and chatting about philosophy.😎 He believed this so strongly that he said working too hard without friendship and philosophy risked the threat of mental illness – how strangely modern this 2300-year-old piece of advice is!
That’s why activities like camping are important.⛺ Not being busy, or doing as little as possible, has surprising philosophical value.😊 The philosopher Pascal believed the root of man’s evil was in the fact that he can’t sit still and do nothing.😶 Russell believed the modern negative take on idleness was a cause of much unhappiness, as we work meaninglessly away.😡 Things are pushed deeper with Deleuze claiming that work, a form of repression, forces us to express constantly without due consideration.💬 Idleness for him is an important time when we can effectively shut up, and when we do talk, it is from a place of thought-out meaning.🤐 Finding inspiration while silently staring into a campfire🔥, and throwing around questions and answers as they come🤔, are important creative collaborations and a source of human happiness for Deleuze.🥰
Have a look at your lifestyle and if there’s room for change, make spending time doing nothing with your partner a priority over working simply to have shinier things.💞 Idle hands are the devil’s work because boredom is often the start of something unpredictable but joyfully creative.😈 And what better place for the devil’s work than the pleasurable privacy of the bedroom?❤️🔥
Musicians are just fucking sexy.🔥 They don’t have to look like supermodels, but play an instrument or start to sing, and a musician’s mastery over sound transforms them.🤤 Music moves us, arouses us, and as Wittgenstein pointed out, even communicates ideas to us.🤓 Both Plato and Confucious saw music as so fucking powerful it could lead to moral virtue or decay, something you will see play out in dictatorships, where music is supressed and controlled. For instance, marching bands were played on the radio 24/7 by the Nazis to show how the nation was toiling together, while jazz was banned because of its free and wild nature.🤮 Other philosophers like Schopenhauer believed music touched on the true nature of reality, giving us goosebumps. Nietzsche saw music as primal, connected to life itself, whose rhythm ties us to the raw energy of existence where we can lose ourselves.💫
It was Pythagoras, two and half thousand years ago, who first saw music as something fucking amazing.🎶 Even though, these days, we’re pretty sure Pythagoras not a real guy but made up by his followers (a bit like Ronald McDonald), discovering that music followed mathematical principles blew everyone’s fucking minds and showed that maths may be the way to describe the world, something we still debate today.📐 Music, to Pythagoras, represented the harmony that exists within the universe, and for this reason, could even be used as medicine.💊 Fast forward to the twentieth century and philosophers like Bergson and Deleuze saw harmony linked to how we innately experience the world through time, a tension between order and chaos, pointing out that even a newborn knows when a mother’s lullaby is off-key.🙉
Harmony comes from balance, but this means harmony comes from the back and forth of opposing forces, something wonderfully illustrated in the Daoist concept of Yin and Yang.☯️ In western philosophy, this back and forth was called ‘dialectic’ by Hegel and has been incredibly influential. For example, Marx believed that conflict between the classes through history was dialectical and would eventually lead to Communism.🛠️ Existentialists like Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir believed the tension between opposing forces is what defines human freedom as we move from wanting to possess another to being vulnerable enough to be possessed ourselves.😏 For Sartre and de Beauvoir there was no better example of this than fucking.🥵 The physical and emotional interplay in sex, the opposing forces coming together, needs to find a rhythm to achieve harmony and ecstasy.💦 A good fuck rhythm can’t be rationalised, it has to be felt like a dance, and we have to give up control and lose ourselves to find it.💃🕺 Fucking becomes more than primal, but a crucial way to express who we are and find meaning and connection. Fucking becomes a beautiful way to make music together.💞
IMPROVE YOUR GAME 🤤 How philosophically sexy is golf?⛳ Some sports, like martial arts and surfing, are clearly philosophical, but golf is next level. A sport where you ultimately play yourself, striving for the perfect game, even when you know it’s impossible to achieve.😥 Golf is a metaphor for life, with the pressure of decisions which can change things in a heartbeat and the uncertainty as conditions continually change. Where the journey matters more than the destination, full of successes and failures.🎢 And any golfer will tell you that being in the moment, being present, being free of the past and the future, is essential to hitting the ball well.🏌️♂️ The importance of mindfulness was also realised 1400 years ago by a sexy Nepalese Prince, Siddhartha Guatama. In a moment of enlightenment he understood, among other things, how important mindfulness was to learn about himself and the world.🤔 We’ve all heard of Guatama, but mostly under the name given to him centuries later, the ‘Buddha’.😎
Buddhism is about realising the true nature of things by escaping the distractions of the world around us.👀 For Buddhists, obsessing about the past and future fuels thoughts and emotions which run away from us with distressing results, so being in the moment gives a grounded perspective from where we can better control these forces, and in turn, learn compassion for the challenges of others.💞 Mindfulness is at the foundation of our connectedness with each other, and that’s why finding peace and clarity on the golf course means we should also be a better fuck in the bedroom. 🔥 Overcoming the distractions of our busy lives to focus solely on the pleasure of our partner is essential for good sex, but both golfers and Buddhists agree this doesn’t come easily.😒 Mindfulness requires practice.🧘 Therefore, if you find yourself being a distracted fuck, don’t let the experience worry and fuel further negative thoughts and feelings.🤬 Instead, try again.🤤 Focus on freeing yourself from the past and future and enjoy the sublime shared experience of fucking each other.🥵🥵
EROTIC INSPIRATION🔥 Art is a strange one.🎨 For most, it’s an expression of creativity; something undertaken if you have the means and talent. But art also has powers like nothing else.🪄 Art can change our minds or teach new ideas in an instant – no discussions, no arguments, no debate or deliberation – experience it and wham!🤯 Even whole conceptual frameworks can be challenged. Pablo Picasso’s cubist paintings showed us the world through multiple simultaneous perspectives, and, for many, seeing them was the first time they have even conceived of such a possibility.😯
Art can induce change, and, in particular, inspire people to act. Inspiration is important in philosophy because it touches on one of the more profound riddles of the universe, showing us that something can come from essentially nothing.💥 Whereas most action can be seen as a result of what has happened before, like dominoes falling against each other one at a time, inspiration is a sudden burst of energy whose impact is near impossible to predict.💡
It goes without saying that anyone is thrilled to find their work inspirational, so it was fucking amazing to be contacted by x.com/toxosalvaxe and told one of my photos inspired a drawing.😍 I love the idea that people find my photos sexy and even may get off on them💦, but to know that they have inspired someone to create means my art has made a real difference in the world.🙏 Even more exciting, is that it’s all out of my control. I wish x.com/toxosalvaxe all the best with their fantastic talents, and if they find great artistic success, my photo goes along for the ride.🎢
One last comment about art. In addition to sexy photos and porn, art can help with fucking.🤤 By its very nature art ‘shakes things up’ or de-stratifies the norm. It jolts the mind from a sedate ordered understanding of the world and opens other possibilities.😵💫 Think of a blank wall and the difference it makes when we hang a picture on it. Art adds turbulence, and in philosophy, turbulence is vital in creating interesting things.❄️ The alternative, knowing what will happen or experiencing the same thing over and over, makes things boring.🥱 That’s not to say that by hanging art in the bedroom, sex will magically be more interesting, but rather, to deliberately add a little spice, shake things up, introduce the unexpected - otherwise routine will eventually kill the spark. If done right, sex becomes art.❤️🔥 Who wouldn’t want to be fucked inspirationally?🥵
LET IT ALL HANG OUT 🤤 Know thyself, advised Socrates.👀 Easier said than fucking done.🤔 Existentialism revealed the impact others had on our sense of self, so unless you live in a fucking cave, knowing thyself includes knowing what others think as well.💭 And we can’t escape these opinions, our identity depends on them, and being judged poorly leads to feelings of shame.😞 That’s the part that screws us up most. Especially guys. Why? Because if you’re a guy, you have a dick.🍆 Stuck alone on a desert island, a dick is just for taking a whiz and wanking, but in everyday society, the opinion of others about something few see can fuck with your head.👿
A dick has a purpose, a ‘final cause’ as it’s called in philosophy. This has extended from excreting and mating to a being a tool of pleasure.🤤 But our performance fucking objectifies us.🫦 Makes us into a ‘fucking object’ which others can make judgement about.👎 For many other actions, looking or talking to someone gives us a hint at their potential, (for example, a fit long-legged person may also be a good runner or swimmer), but a man’s potential for fucking is mostly hidden away.🙈 Without experience, an even deeper hole of shame can be dug, as men pre-judge themselves on what they believe others might think, putting themselves at the mercy of social norms, which in this case, is usually porn, where bigger is better.😢
Pleasure is a subjective feeling.🥰 Our bodies differ, so what is pleasurable for me may not be pleasurable for you. Statistically, everyone’s size, cock, vagina or ass, sits on a normal distribution curve – which works exactly the same way as measuring height with a shape that looks like a hump, with a small group of tall people on one side, a small group of short people on the other and then everyone else in the middle. Nearly two thousand years ago the Kama Sutra pointed out the challenge with size; that the deer (small woman) will not find the most pleasure with a horse (large man).🐴 She is looking for the hare.🐰 Therefore, no matter what porn throws at us, there are people who prefer small dicks to large, and there should be roughly the same number of such people as those who have small dicks.🤏 And if you’re average-sized, rejoice because roughly 70% of people are also average-sized, and average works best with average.🍾
Socrates was asking us to do two things. One was to look at ourselves, warts and all, but the other was to understand the limits of our knowledge and not fall for our own assumptions.🧐 We can all enjoy fucking, it just takes a little effort to find a right size-matched partner.😍 And we all owe ourselves to make this effort, to share pleasure with another, because everyone deserves it. 🫂 Enjoying a fuck is a fundamental human right, sitting right next to food, health, life and liberty, and we can all proudly strut our stuff knowing that every size has a place, and bigger is not necessarily better.😎
CONFIDENT AS FUCK 😏 Confidence is necessary for a good fuck.😎🤤 Self-doubt can kill the mood in a second as loops of negative inner talk take over.😵 Great fucking is a journey requiring full attention and a firm belief in yourself, but it is not the exclusive right of the body-beautiful or veterans with years of experience.🫦 Sexiness and confidence are intertwined, and unlike looks or experience, confidence is something everyone can build.👊
The seeds of self-doubt, the kind that gnaw at your very existence, have been the focus of philosophy for the last couple of hundred years.😱 The feeling has been described as a ‘dizziness’ by Kierkegaard and ‘nausea’ by Sartre and involves much more than a lack of self-confidence.😣 It has everything to do with how we cope with freedom and meaning.😵💫 Once Nietzsche moved God out of the picture, we were left with a world without restrictions or limitations. Where we make the rules.🙌 But it also left us on our own, with no greater force in charge, where existence can seem meaningless.🥺 Some philosophers like Camus went as far to say that existence itself is absurd.🚨 The result of total freedom means not knowing why we are here, being unsure of our place in the world, and Camus went on to say, answering why is the most important challenge of our lives.🤔 From here stems all the anxieties we struggle with.😰 But here-in lies a clue to quelling anxiety to build confidence and become sexier. All we have to do is find meaning in life.🔎
Sartre famously declared, “Existence precedes essence”.🧐 What he meant was that no one can give your life meaning; it’s something we create for ourselves through existence, or, in other words, our actions.🤸♀️ We create meaning through doing. Not waiting for a sign or an opportunity or for someone else to open a door, but going out in the world and actively finding out who we really are.🫵 And it doesn’t matter what you do – nothing predefines us – just as long as you live true to yourself and help others do the same.🥰 The satisfaction of finding meaning in your personal or professional life will see anxieties fall away and confidence grow.😁 The byproduct is you become sexier and a better fuck.😍 Who would have thought that the best sex advice would be to build confidence by living authentically!🔥
CHOPPING MY WOOD🔥 The oldest sharpened axe found is from roughly 50,000 years ago, which means we’ve been chopping firewood practically forever. 🪵🪓 To chop and cart wood properly requires physical power, so it’s no fucking surprise that, along with beauty, strength has been highly valued since day one. 💪 So much so that strength helped define who you could fuck till relatively recently. For the vast majority of human history, so long as you were dominant in something like age, status or strength, you could fuck who you wanted.🤤 Submissives were treated differently in different places and times, sometimes terribly (but then again, a sub of a Roman Emperor had a city named after him).🏛️
The dominant-submissive idea was so commonplace in ancient times that one of the main ways Hebrews stood out from everyone else was forbidding same-sex fucking under the label of ‘sodomy’ (after the city of Sodom which was effectively nuked by God because he was pissed at their perverse partying).🙈 Medieval Christianity took this on in the Old Testament, but still didn’t go as far as labelling people’s sexual identity - just that they sinned.🚫 A wife’s husband who fucked another man was still her husband, albeit a naughty one.🤬 It’s only in the last couple of hundred years have we identified who we want to fuck in terms of heterosexual, homosexual or otherwise. 😍This new way of looking at things didn’t happen by accident but was part of a revolution in thought led by the juggernaut German philosopher Immanuel Kant, who believed we could rationally discover the identity of things, including ourselves.🧐
Kant was responding to the brilliant Scottish philosopher David Hume, who claimed everything was too complex to identify clearly and sometimes resisted being identified at all.😶🌫️ Hume would say our old way of thinking about who we like to fuck was actually a fluid interplay between our feelings, what we think about ourselves and the society we live in. Therefore, no matter how hard we try by using new Kantian labels, lurking behind this civilized veil remains the age-old Humean dominant-submissive allure.😈 An allure which can challenge our rational sense of self if we discover we crave to fuck someone we didn’t expect.🥵
CATCH OF THE DAY 🤤 There’s little more exhilarating than feeling a tug at your line and battling to reel in a fish.💥🎣 Whether it’s the one that got away or your biggest catch ever, either way, the highlight is the heart-racing thrill of the chase.🤩
To pursue someone we desire is much like fishing.🤤 Sartre warns that this turns people into an object to be possessed.🥺 Though different to hooking a fish, we want the object of our desire to choose us freely and willingly.😍 The element of choice makes the game of seduction all the more tense and exciting, but the fear of rejection makes it all the more terrifying.❤️🔥
To have the person you desire come freely brings a feeling of completeness that can’t be fucking beat.🥵 But the moment is fleeting, Sartre reminds us, because we soon realise they can never truly be ours.😢 The other person’s freedom means they are not a possession, and, in the end, our desire limits them.🤏 We’ll screw up the relationship if we can’t handle our desires, and end up following a bad pattern of moving on to the next pretty shiny thing after everything goes to shit.😵 However, if we strive for an authentic, mutually rewarding relationship, we’ll do the hard yards to relate our passions equally to our partner’s wants.😏 There is still thrill in hooking the fish, but learning to indulge in each other’s freedom is far fucking sexier than the chase.💞🤯
PRACTICED AND PERFECT 🍆😍 When looking at what we know, philosophy seems to be stuck in the mind.🧠 All fucking facts and beliefs.🧐 But in life, most of the knowledge we use is how to do things, not what things are. Like riding a bike.🚲 You can’t study riding a bike.🤓 You can’t learn from reading or watching videos.📖 Hearing from world experts does little good either.🗣️ You don’t use your mind to learn skills, you use your body.🤸♀️ You have to get on the bike and let your body figure out, in the real world, how to balance, peddle and steer. Mistakes happen continually, but your body slowly learns till it becomes effortless.😋 As they say, you never forget to ride a bike, because learning know-how becomes embodied - though we forget facts all the time.🤯
Philosophers like twentieth-century Englishman Gilbert Ryle saw knowing-how as just as important as knowing-what, maybe even more so because it breaks down the silly idea that we are just someone sitting in our head (a ‘ghost in the machine’).👻 Instead, we are our whole-body of sensations, which is why this idea is sexy as shit.🔥 Fucking is a know-how, not a know-what.🥵 Facts and advice may help a little, but the only way to learn how to fuck, and fuck well, is to practice, which means making mistakes.😓 But practice makes perfect.😎 And the wonderful thing is, when you start to feel like you are losing yourself in the moment, you’re actually moving your mind from behaving like a passenger in your head to a richer, truer sense of who you really are.😍
CULTURED COCK 🛫🍆 “Truth is relative.” Essentially meaning, with enough work, every opinion can be justified.🧐 The idea largely comes from the study of other cultures, which became popular in the early twentieth century.🧭 At the time, the search for truth was focused on language, with great minds like Wittgenstein saying we can’t conceive of something we can’t talk about.🙊 But when other cultures were studied, some languages were so different that doubt started to build.😲 Then, when it was realised that we can’t even depend on actions to define things, (Are they pointing at something? Or is it about their finger? 👉) the idea that truth is defined by culture took hold. This was then pushed to the extreme to say the same thing about individual opinions.💬 It all became a big bloody headache for philosophers.👿
What has this got to do with fucking?💦 Quite a lot actually. Different cultures do look at things in different ways – the Inuit culture has a lot more words for snow than western culture for example⛄ – but we all share common aspects of life, and fucking is one of them.😍 Rather than one take on sex, which would happen if every culture understood it in the same way🥱, we have rich diverse sexual behaviours spanning the world.🌎 Dipping into other cultural practices can be so fucking hot.🔥
Take an adventure into West Asia and you’ll find tantric sex with the Kama Sutra.🪷 Head into East Asia and indulge in Japanese rope bondage🪢 or jump to Europe where anal play is more part of the game.🍑 In Central Africa, sexuality is linked to creativity and female ejaculation is triggered using an ancient foreplay technique.💦 The more you explore the wonderful world of sex, the more you realise that as long as respect for one another is never breached, your imagination is the only limit.🤯 I don’t believe truth is relative, but I do believe that some truths are so laden with meaning there is no limit to how we can experience them.♾️That’s what makes our culturally diverse world as sexy as fuck. 🥵
WANT TO PLAY? 🫦 💦 No one wants to fuck someone only interested in themselves.🙁 Even when chances of getting off are few and far between, acting like a selfish prick doesn’t pay off.👎 Why? Ask Game Theory.♟️ Hitting the bigtime in the 1940s when genius geek John von Neumann🤓 worked out the maths proof, the idea of Game Theory has been around since the Ancient Greeks. But it was Thomas Hobbes in the 17th century who set the scene when he very clearly showed that everything would go to shit if we only thought about ourselves, or in his words, life would be “solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.”⚔️ Thinking and giving a shit about others may seem like hard work💞, but the alternative is a lot fucking worse.🙈
The Prisoner’s Dilemma is the usual way to explain Game Theory, which can be recast in the bedroom using two different attitudes; trying to get your partner off 💦 or only thinking about yourself.😡 The ultimate experience is the double whammy of being a selfish prick and your partner trying to get you off.🤯 But this sucks for them and you’ll be lucky to get a second chance.🫷 If you are both selfish, then even if both get off, sex will get pretty boring pretty quick.🥱 So even if the result is not getting off themselves, both focusing on getting their partner to cum works best long-term, mainly because it means regular great fucking.👅 And every now and then - maybe on a cheeky birthday – one of you could be the sole focus and indulged to the next level.💥🤤
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