• take your time • When it comes to sex, how long should it ..

• take your time •

When it comes to sex, how long should it take? Cumming too quickly as a male can seem embarrassing, and why wouldn't it when pre ejaculation is the butt of the joke in media. There is a whole episode of the popular sitcom The Office, where a main male character was unable to keep an erection and the rest of the men in the office refuse to admit to having the same experience, afraid of being seen as not being "man enough" to preform. Yet as a female cumming relatively quick can be an accomplishment , especially for those of us who have been shamed for "taking too long" or not finishing at all. Whether its taking too long, or not lasting long enough, no matter who you are, or what body parts you have, it seems society and sexual culture today has enough shame to go around for all of us. I want to add a new perspective to the mix. What if sex wasn't about cumming at all? What if it wasn't a race with a clear beginning or end? What if instead of making out in a bedroom, you start with a hug from behind while your partner makes you coffee. Taking a moment to breathe them in with the morning air. Pressing your lips to their soft skin just to feel the way your lips take to the mold of their body, breathing out deeply letting that very breath caress their clavicle down their shoulders.. all before you even get to the bedroom you have set the tone for the day. Intimacy starts here. Not when you take your clothes off but in the little moments you show emotional vulnerability and connection. A text just to say you appreciate them in your life and how they overwhelm your memories, leaving you aching for the next time to see them. A phone call in the middle of the day just to hear their voice. We don't normally call these things sexy but by the time you're both alone, you'll notice the tension has been growing for more than the immediate moments leading up to the climax. On the other side of the coin, as someone who loves to eat out a woman... I have never once wished my partner would finish sooner or wished they would take longer than they did because my goal isn't to cum. My goal is simply to Enjoy the privilege ive been given to taste, feel, savor, etc. For as long(or short) as it takes. I write vows with my tongue, mold her body into arched statues with the steadiness of my fingers, compose symphonies in my mind with the music that flows from her lips to my ears. Sometimes that composition crescendos rapidly, it's exciting and passionate, come up come down, falling back laughing "wow that felt so good I couldn't contain it." Other times the experience is a storyline worth taking its time. Pages to be turned with delicate fingers. Every detail is to be cherished, the ending should never be rushed. I could spend years in the univsere she has between her legs and I'll miss it when I'm away, yearning to pick her up, spread her open, and reread her all over again. Each time better than the last. So whether sex feels like a song that ends in minutes, or a storyline that entrances you for hours... take your time. "Just because a song ends doesn't mean you can't enjoy the music"